The pack met at the now defunct establishment in Owen Close.  A few chose to wear “night attire” of various descriptions.  The run was a pleasant walk/run around the streets of Portsmith and along the creek in Fearnley Street where a Hasher who shall remain nameless but holds the title of Assistant GM, nearly gave a certain Harriette a heart attack by throwing a rock in the water and shouting “Crocodile” – he will keep!!!
Back at the brothel the circle got underway:
Returnees:  Goanna who last ran with Cairns HHH six years ago after 49 runs so she chose to come to the brothel to celebrate her 50th run!! Bumper Sticker also returned but had not been away that long!!
Raffle: Bumper Sticker and Lost & Found.
Charges – can’t remember what for but am sure others can – Concrete Rod was amongst those charged.
The Hare made a guest appearance in his new persona as the Bordello Madame.

DON'T FORGET THE HASH BALL - 31 JULY AT THE GERMANIA CLUB

LET HASH CASH KNOW IF YOU ARE GOING TO THE 1770 RUN - SHE NEEDS NUMBERS FOR CATERING!!!

It was “all go” at the House of Sodonme, the runners were separated from the walkers and the walkers told to board the F… Bus, with its plush leather seats and carpeted floor!!  After a few attempts the bus was underway and the walkers dropped off at the end of Collins Avenue.  The first part of the walk was great, along the creek into the reaches of Aeroglen.  Then it was turn left and up the hill!!  The climb went on and on, trail was lost and found again and then lost twice more with false trails.  At one time I had visions of being on the mountain and never coming back down!!  We eventually found our way, with the help of McTaf’s whistle and Alex’s light to be greeted by Kneetrembler at the drink stop, at the lookout on the Red Arrow.  The runners never made the drink stop, they had found another way down!!  It was then down the Red Arrow and back to Sodonme’s place.

The circle got underway quickly as it was quite late by this time. 

Raffle was drawn and won (don’t know who by)
Visitor/Virgin was Alex who has the misfortune to live next door to Sodonme!
P…. of the Week and the Double Donger went to Sodonme for the run.
MM was charged for leaving the drink stop with the cups in her pocket!

The nosh was good, and it's On On to next week’s run.

MOFL

A cool evening with a small pack of enthusiasts taking off from the Crunchie Crack home with instructions that maybe some of the ‘trail’ markings may have dissolved in the late shower, but “just keep to the right of the school until you find the big tree, then turn right”.    Did just that, found trail went over a fence and from then on hardly any trail with runners already gone off into the wild, dark night, and walkers wandering about seeking some clues.  Found some trees and grass area but no trail until a flashlight glowing in the distance (from the drink stop) lured the intrepid walkers on through the night!   The Marathon continued on, still heading away from ‘home’ but finally the walkers came into the street- lit areas and ‘on home’ via the well lit area of the new Coles supermarket.   The six stalwart walkers finally arrived back to find the runners, and the short-cutters patiently awaiting their arrival.    As the run/walk took just over 1.5 hours, the GM got the circle going quick-smart………hardly time for enough for the sweaty, thirsty walkers to take a breath!!!
We had TWO virgins attending…Sonia (from Forest Gardens) and Denis (from Dayborogh)………they seemed to enjoy the frivolity and good nature of our little group and have vowed to ‘come again’ next week.
Helmet gave the walkers report and awarded a MINUS 3, however, Super Stork gave the runners report with a mark of 15!   How ridiculous was that, what were you drinking Super?         Both Hares, Crunchie and Dancing Queen, were dragged out for punishment.
Kneetrembler gave a brief report on his performance at the Gold Coast Marathon – finished 13th in his age group and about 111 overall…an excellent result, but then think of the great ‘training’ he gets with Cairns HHH!
Other frivolous down-downs were to suspect new shoes of Pullthrough, Concrete Rod for endeavoring to alter trail, and Dancing Queen for not returning a torch to its owner.
A great nosh of wonderful lasagna and fresh salad and veges supplied from Dancing Queen’s garden.
Next week’s run is from Sodonme’s palace at Edge Hill.

On, on…………Tutti

A smaller group than last week met at the Lake Placid lower bridge for a run set by Defeotus.  Confusion set in even before the pack left as Defeotus explained the run – if you run you might have to swim, if you walk you will need a torch – don’t worry about the run – all go on the walkers trail was about the jist of it – I don’t know I was lost by that time and I had not even set off.
The pack departed, over scrub land, following bits of toilet paper strung on trees.  Along the banks of the Barron River, over logs and around trees, all the while it was getting darker, one missed step and you end up in the river!!!  Well not that bad!! UNTIL we came out onto the gorge road and then this steep bank greeted us – thanks to Defeotus and Kneetrembler this hasher and others made it onto the road.
Back at the circle – great excitement – a naming was to take place.  The RA arrived with the goat and Darren was duly named Seconds.  What was this?  An overruling of the RA’s naming?  By popular demand Darren is now to be known as Sloppy Seconds.
Weed spoke of the Hash Ball, get your tickets for this Gala Event from Hash Cash.  Weed also spoke of the suggestion by the committee that everyone bring their own plate and cutlery to Hash.  Noisy discussion took place but no firm decision was made.
Raffles – Sloppy Seconds and Tackle (even though he is overseas)
P… of the Week – In/Out
Double Donger – Nathan
Charges:  Many but who knows what they were!!!

Notes taken by Anon because when Pro was asked to do notes he complained that as he was sitting down he couldn’t think or write – something to do with his brains being in his backside!!

On on

Anon

Pro's Promising Parade - run 1761

I have to be honest and say that I didn't go on the run, so I can't give you much of a run report. But Choppa scored it a 10/10 and sounded a bit surprised because he described it as "actually a good run!!". Hashers should note, this particular harriette went to Trinity's run on Tuesday night and that was put on by their GM Nico, and he didn't get a score nearly that good. So what does that tell you.....Cairns is the best Hash in all the world, and our GM is the most fabulous of them all (clap, clap, cheers!). Virgin was Jeff- bought along by Losty. Returnees were Minnieshot and IN/OUT. Charges were plenty. Starting with a late charge from Kotex to Twisted for her incident at Nash Hash with Cairns Brass Band (dont ask people!), Dancing Queen dobbed in Spread 'Em having a big dick behind her, Mole to In/Out for making up his own trail, but in his defence Manu told him where to go, Screwer to L&F for not telling the virgin the sacred rules of hash. DQ to Moneyshot for no hash attire with Farcanal joining her, and Bazza cos no one can pinch his chair this week. New shoes-Choppa 
Raffles won by Choppa, Twisted and Dancing Queen.
Run Of The Month garment went to Flapps. 
Double Donger went to Handbrake from Spread 'Em for being too nice.
P.O.W to Kotex she should know better.
Darrin, Anne, In/Out and MoneyShot were all presented with Saigon 1000th T-shirts from Knee Trembler 
On On, Slugher  

 The pack turned up to new venue, Kennedy park next to Bunnings Smithfield on the last day of Autumn. Off into the dark the pack went. Up over, around, behind Bunnings, out onto the highway and through an underpass. On the other side of the road and through some dark scrub. The pack took a lovely look thru the Can-O-Pee's Edge estate. Onto the drinkstop behind Smithfield tavern and slowly the pack returned on keg. Back at the circle proceedings began. The run scored low but the pack looked forward to fantastic nosh.Manu began charges with a spurious charge about confused gender and hermaphrodites and the charges became more confused from there. But still the pack looked forward to a fantastic nosh – going for nosh of the year!! Awards given to Mole, which was the only one we had. Visitors Plaything, Gladwrap, Wrong Way, Pullthru were a welcome bunch. Various lucky bastards won the Raffles. IF U HAVE AN AWARD, PLEASE RETURN IT!!! 

On On, Cougars  

SHE `S NOT GAY, JUST ANGRY 
Turning up to Moingnard Street for a tackle run, the pack were keen to get going as we were told it’s a long one ( !!!!!!). Off over the road through the medical centre, onto Moody Street. Over an easement by the canal, into Pease Street. Onto Lennon Street finding our way into kneetremblers former street Brennan. Somewhere out of Brennan Street the pack split. The walkers -who knows where-Runners- up along Brown street by the D.F.O. past there and a left turn all the way up Mann Street all the way to Cairns One. And over the bridge. Following along the canal past all the rugby playing carry on or some such game involving balls the last of the runners trailed. Following the path up to the TAFE then......pffhht.....lost trail. This involved wondering where the drink stop was, as marks showed a D.S. Along Tafe street and one arrow was seen. Keep going but no arrows. By this time the last of the pack were fading fast so back to the keg they went for as much as 2 klms. Sometime later, the tired and thirsty pack made it to the keg just before the search party was about to leave. Strange happenings at the circle as an interloper appeared and confused proceedings, especially Mole`, who was not amused. Neither were the pack. Order restored, charges continued. Confusion there as well but Toolbox was welcomed as a returnee as was the charming SonJit from far, far away. A virgin was welcomed and the goat was getting excited but soothing ale calmed it down. Confusion continued, but the nosh was fantastic and plentiful as always from Tackle. 
ON ON - someone who cares.  

The pack appeared at Callum St to the subtle changes in the light that autumn brings. Yes folks, it gets dark earlier these days. Hence, Flapps advice you need a torch. "OH!!!! and there's only one giant hill. Once you get over that, You'll be right". Out along Callum St, up to Moody, over to man with a lisp st (WAWAN), into a dark park, oh dear!!, getting darker. The runners ran, the walkers walked and the pack split after a regroup at the quarry. By this time darkness enveloped all. That's right, no torches! Onto Ramsey drive, then a sharp turn over the road and into the quarry, through the forest into the darkest depths of the thick black evening. Howls, squeals and cries of horror could be heard and that was just from Manu . "OK" says Manu and onto some other mysterious path he went. Tackle gathered the remaining quivering hashers about him (he loves a good harem) and on back the pack went. There were some canals and a park in there somewhere and virgins Annie and Mel were made to suffer Betty's non-stop commentary all the way back, (there there girls.) B.T. Mole, Skiddy, Supa, Not Yet, Losty were the last runners to return and quivering with terror B.T awarded Flapps a massive 0.5/2 for the run. Auspicious event began with the awarding of a sacred hash chalice to Not Yet, for his 700 runs and that's just while he was named Not yet. Parchment older than the Dead Sea scrolls were produced which proclaimed the date to be 5th Sept '77- Run #12 as being Babbling's/ Not Yet's first run. Supa overcome with emotion claimed he was also as old as the same dead scroll and accepted his charge for forcing Betty to produce the original ancient document. There were some charges but it's all too blurry to remember.
Awards: POW to Skiddy, Glitteris to Darrin, Spread 'Em still has the DD.
Raffles to Lost and Found and Handbrake. 
ON ON FOX 

A not very serious pack of 32 gay and jolly hashers descended upon the seriously midgee ridden centenary lakes picnic hut. After much telling and directing Not Yet sent the pack away, away where we know not as some of the pack, Crunchy& Farcanel returned forthwith wearing serious looks of confusion. To cries of '' bugger that"" and are you serious, more hashers returned before completing trail. How could this be ????? Not Yets cunning plan to confuse and confound the pack was more successful than he hoped with checks, false trails double checks and check again and really?? at the tanks art precinct people changed their minds and came home. Except the ones that didn't, they deciphered Not Yet’s seriously confusing trail...Losty was seen to be running up Macnamarra street, Sod on me ran back all flustered, supa stork and defeatus just ran. Virgin Angus ran somewhere with some people, Metro bike hashed. SOS decided to have a little lie down on trail, Skiddy was concerned, Manu ran like the clappers, as did foreign correspondent returnee Choppa. Big Bazza and Animal loped. Returnee B.T kept twisty and tooty company. Tackle kept an eye on the keg and returnee Mofl entertained and iced a cake. Meanwhile serious charges occurred and some more serious than others. Newcomer Darren wore no new hash attire as his dog Just Chewed It ,chewed it. charge was accepted with claims that he is not in the cupboard (???? ..seriously odd but there you go....its hash, a hash name for Darren perhaps.. narnia was bandied about. Crunchy was charged for leaving all the pricks, cocks, double dongers and dildos at home claiming they are all in for repairs. Betty was charged for not taking the notes, maid marion for passing the buck(ouchies) and handbrake for making the G.M look incontinent....oops....typo....incompetent. 
Waffles to supa stork and weed but no prizes. Not a serious raffle then 
ON ON Screwer. 

Interhash is on in Kuching in July.
If you want to order a travel shirt then see Mole` or you will miss out. 

Yes, we know the notes said you are at Dancing queens run at Ravizza park but in hash things have a way changing dont ya know. Especially when it precipitates. Bucketed down. So the theme for the whole night was improvisation, which we did. The mystery live hare sent us away out of the park and onto a very long road. The second live hare Mctaf quickly remarked the washed away trail until we followed white tape.
Yep, it was wet and still bucketing down. Into a wild scrub trail we went slipping and slopping AND NATURALLY NOT A TORCH TO BE SEEN. Over a huge fence we had to go or over a perrilous wild creek over a drain pipe.Mctaf and helmet gallantly helped the harriettes over the obstacle while pro helped the harriettes just to cop a feel of their wet bums. Great debate ensued as to the continuance of the trail or go home. Most thought ' sod it' and went on keg.Sodden we were and sodden we remained for the night. Mole gave an accurate account.'' IT RAINED....blah ,blah ,blah, more rain... blah ,blah ,blah...then the rain stopped-2/10 but the nosh looks fantastic...it was.
Charges. Spreadem for trying to charge before the charges began. Handbrake and Crunchy for making the pack worry about them( they disapeared on trail) Pro for helping harriettes just to cop a quick grope. Flapps and prickle for low profiles. Nogat for something about a root. Weed and Mole for sacriledge (great song tho) Tackle for parking the hashdray too far in the rain and making the standin kegmaster wet.
Raffles. Crunchy crack, Spreadem and Tackle
Awards... Double Donger to Losty. Long lost ceramic prick to someone but Crunchy will mind (:-o?) it for them and the hairy prick to Manu but crunchy will mind it for them.

ON ON
SPANNER

RETURNEES: Mctaf, Spanner, Retard, Pussy Bob.
CHARGES: Gay cummy for misrepresentation, "I'm not really gay!!!!" Retard to Losty for locking the GM's keys in the Losty mobile.Spanner for wondering when ANZAC day is?????? And a collection of harriettes for being squealing girls on the run. Nommy for no hash attire. Weed for beer abuse and being sent to the naughty corner.
RAFFLES: won by Handbrake and Betty Boop. No awards awarded.  

ON ON Betty and Crunchy