It was a sweltering, heavy, night for hash but a pack of 30 (hashers, not cards) turned up to Woree Tennis Courts. Out onto Windarra Street and back into the soccer fields and along the creek the runners charged off and the walkers ambled. Following toilet paper and wholemeal self-raising flour,(it stays really well in the rain) we continued through the park and over a train bridge. Coming out into the suburbs of Woree and onto Shannon Drive we followed all the way to come out at Anderson Street. Along there and into the secret walking /bike path and down into the depths of Woree. Over a park and a handy tap for a drink stop we wended through a park and finally back to the tennis club. Glugging the cooling grog the circle began and we welcomed back the hare, Basil Thrush and his lovely Better half, Inn and Out. Not to be confused with Innout who is out at the moment. The trail was deemed to have started out as good and then the end bit was s***t Kneetrembler found it to be an easy cool down run despite the sweat.
Visitors....the lovely Inn and Out, via Vietnam, Beer Barbie via Denmark who sang us a great Danish song in English.
Returnees....Mama Mia, No Knickers, Big Bazza.
Charges....Twisty charged Mutiny for being very gallant and assisting harriettes out the stony creek. Moley to Young Brian for helping Beer Barbie and Moley out the same creek. Twisty tried to infer that she and supa were therefore just great parents but funnily enough Supa doesn’t remember any such night.
Basil was charged for being a foreign correspondent and not corresponding but Farcanel soon sorted that out by charging Betty for not noticing the correspondence Basil sent in to the local newspaper. Damn...
Mama Mia and Beer Barbie for having a lively conversation during the circle.
The w*anker shirt went to twisty coz Deefeetus  doesn’t like her much. Any reason will do really.
No Knickers got the prick of the week for spitting the dummy and not talking to Not Yet for the whole weekend because he threw out crap she had been trying to keep. OH WELL..

ON ON

The weather had been dismally wet as it can be in wet season but the rain held off until after the party had packed up. Mind you ,the rain can make for an even better, fun day.  A great pack of nearly 40 hashers turned up including visitors Wiggles,Supastork, and Sister Cumming (mrs ram). Losty set the trail that was just the right length but scribe heard there was no creek crossing and no wet feet this year. C`est la vie...still the trail wasn’t too long as it gave the pack plenty of time to socialise and cool off in the creek which had been running furiously fast but the pack played safe. Hash horrors Lucky and Charmed were finally allowed to swim in the creek and Handbrake was forced not to look. Passing visitor Moanna enjoyed a cool off in the creek and helped to liven the circle when a down down was given to self nominated R.A.Goanna,who in fact did a great job keeping the weather at a pleasant temperature. Stand in Bahgwan Crunchy was nominated as a stand in but was deemed not hairy enough so Helmet was offered to co stand. a rousing hymn was sung and frivolities continued. Those born overseas were downdowned but welcomed as true blue aussies.  Mass charges took place for Bike hash virgins..Cassandra, Fetish, Moneyshot Deefeetus, Goaanna, slapper, twisty, mutiny, bounty and anyone else scribe missed. The Under 40s hash took their inaugural charge  as bike hash virgins and were welcomed into the fold. The more hashes the merrier scribe says. Returning harriette Ole was downdowned and made a charming barrel girl and organised the 1$ raffle. Egg tossing competition was won by Crunchy crack and cassandra and plenty of thong throwing was hotly contested.
Lots of nosh was noshed and plenty of grog was grogged. A top Australia day celebration was had and can’t wait to find out who will host Australia day 2013.
on on and have a great cycling year.

It was a sticky state of affairs as the pack turned up to Wau Close.  The pool beckoned but first the pack had to endure the trail.  Again the pack enjoyed a handy zumba class to get us really warmed up for the split trail that was coming up once we got onto Manus Street. A long, slow, incline up Manus and the runners were seen to hold a regroup while the walkers dragged themselves up. Onwards the trail went and some of the pack was getting excited or terrified as the trail went straight past Lookout Drive, which takes you straight up into trinity dress circle. Could the drinkstop be up there? Could it be at Goannas sisters place with the lung busting climb to her verandah and the magic views. We were spared that torture and continued happily along various streets and backblocks to find ourselves beachside for the drinkstop. A calm flat glassy ocean was before us hiding all sorts of dangers (stingers, crocodiles, nude swimmers )The pack was gagging for a chilled soothing tropical thirst quencher but family Smith surprised us and we enjoyed a semi chilled butterscotch flavoured milk drink. In the words of Supastork all that was missing was the junket tablet. Still, it was alcoholic so one mustn’t complain. Runners went and ran and walkers walked back the way they came. Straight into the pool we all went and by then the junket had set being in the chilled pool.
A rowdy circle began Supa gave the run report. the trail actually earned a score of 15/10 but Supa deleted 17 points for the junket drinkstop. After that  Young Brian, sprog of Supa stork was given a  virgin down down. Funny how for years supastork was the tallest man in hash but next to his two sons he looks shorter than Prickle Magnet.
Bopeep, Retard, T.P, Tooty, Swampy and Weed were returned runners. Or maybe Weed was charged for eating all the pies. Who knows Tooty charged retard for outdoing Helmet in the frumpy budgie smuggler department and Betty boops charge failed miserably.  Tooty and Twisty were charged with accosting a strange man on trail.Boppeep charged Juggler because she could. Moley was charged for being a media tart again. Cunning Linguist was charged for being so much prettier than former cairns hasher Cunning Linguist A.K.A. Count cunny.
Awards were awarded but we only had the W*nker tshirt which went to Weed even though Weed and Mole had been trying to get rid of the hideous shirt for 3 years. Please return any of our fun awards if you have them. Birthday songs were sung to Handbrake and Phuket.

That is actually how pro gave his run report of the trail set by Losty via Spreadem. Asked to give the run report Pro clambered up onto a handy ladder standing minding its own business and addressed the pack thus......." I thought it was good "... as did many others. Trail climbed up various hills throughout Bentley [ark and the hills just kept on coming. it was a good lung busting, sweaty workout. we climbed all sorts of hilly street and terraces and enjoyed the fantastic view right at the top of Tamar and Corea Street and the very top of Bowen Street. Kneetremnbler was thrilled with the new territory .Losty managed to fool us and put in false trails at the very top of steep streets that made the pack work very hard, except for the hashers that moaned as soon as they began. Others didn’t and just got on with it. A good hard sweaty work out does us all good from time to time .Upon our return to 33 Gilmore Street the pack dived into the cool drinks and sweet pineapple waiting for us. Anyway onto the circle ...and an unruly one it was too. Helmet fought hard for control but the hot heavy, dense, night air had something to do with it. Charges were quickly awarded to Twisty and Rubberdick for P.D.A.S several times over and Rubberdick was also a welcome returnee as is Bumpa stik her and Spreadem. Twisty charged Losty and Tackle for being cranky. Tackle charged the person who damaged the hash dray trying to direct the keg master where to put the dray so it wouldn’t get damaged... Handbrake and Phuket for having new cars and not damaging them. Spreadem for no drinkstop on trail and D.Q., Twisty and Nonikers for complaining on trail.
Announcements ...26TH December Boxing Day open house 3 Capricorn Street ... Byo meat chair and sleeping equipment if you choose to crash after the big fat party. Open house from 2pm. bring swimmers and ON ON

The pack made their way to the student amenities block, formerly the cairns yacht club, at Smithfield campus of James Cook University. The pack were looking forward immensely to the promise of a great trail AND brinner from Defeotus and Cummy. The pair did not disappoint. The trail was well marked, even if it was pink chalk and losty style arrows. There were overpasses, underpasses, uni classes, zumba classes, highway crossings, scrub. We even retraced some handbrake and mole trail through the Cairns works maintenance dump. We crossed concrete walls, went through old cane field, cut across the uni oval and joined in a boot camp work out. The pack worked their way across sand bike tracks, discovered new bird species, crossed wallaby territory and even made friends with a beautiful carpet python minding his own business lazily basking in the late afternoon sun. Quietly sitting there minding its own business till disturbed by squeals and great thumping and pounding of clumsy hashers. Off it stormed back into the scrub after the last of the harriettes had been shepherded by its living quarters by Kneetrembler. And we thought he was just holding the regroup for the tardy pack. in fact ,he was making sure the poor snake wasn’t trampled underfoot by hoards of heavy footed hashers. Mind you, supastork reminded us in his run report it never was discovered who the hasher was that was eaten some years previously on some long past hash trail through the very same scrub. The python had come back for revenge. It was still recovering from the poisoning it endured after swallowing the mystery hasher.
The circle was fun. We welcomed back our Mr and Mrs G.M helmet and prickle and the return of Spreadem. Always a joy that. We downdowned virgin Cassie who was shown how to drink her share of the down down by goanna who brought her along. We down downed newly named Moneeko who is now known as French Riviera or Frenchie to her friends. (go the harriettes)
Nommy was charged for squealing at the python in Swiss. Crunchy was charged for forcing Scribe to remember notes by memory by not packing scribes note taking book. Scribe included Mctaf in the charge as he told Scribe to scribes face he would pack the hash bag and note book. More charges happened but blame Mctaf. The pack couldn’t wait for nosh as the hares promised brinner and brinner we got .It was breakfast for dinner and the only complaint was Dancing queen complaining about lack of fried eggs there was plenty of brinner to eat and the hares put on a top night So stimulating was the evening the pack didn’t leave until 9pm. Top night boys and the random vagrant that came by thought so too.
ON ON

The pack made their way to Ravizza park in Edmonton and a fabulous trail it was to considering it was set from afar via the net via crunchy and betty. the trail began along ravizza drive and then sneaked in some checks and false trails in and out of secret streets and even  a discovery of a spanking new health centre tucked conveniently on a false trail. at this false trail point ,returnee Manu, and weed snuck across a creek and ambled their way to an early drinkstop at the grafton hotel. meanwhile the pack followed trail and found secret parks and trail off hancock drive and out to Resoution drive. more hidden parks and a handy drinkstop later ,the pack continued out to bicentenial road. still the false trails and checks kept the pack guessing . finding a hidden pathway which came out onto Mclaughlin road the pack found a second drinkstop waiting for them. back over sinclair miller bridge and on home to cooling watermelon and a fairly well behaved circle.Tootys run report was generous. Returnee Manu was welcomed back and weed and manu enjoyed a down down for going via an A.T.M  to accquire cash for their drinkstop beeer instead of always being prepared with  coins in the pocket for the purchase of beer. Handbrake was charged for showing of her new car.Losty was charged for leaving the pack early and without permission.Dancing Queen charged Betty for being a snob and having the run from a park instead of from the big house.(Consuela the housekeeper was calling that day).anyway it made for a different trail.
Dancing queen was astand in looka like for moley  as she , weed and handbrake were given another down for their efforts for the fullmoon straight line run.(it was that good).P.O.W betty deliberated as to who hadnt had it in a while and the unanimous decision was Tooty.Weed won the raffle.ON ON

As Losty was a front runner until he got attacked by plovers(scary things them ) he gave the run report. Well..... it was pretty good. There was some imagination used. Pluka gave the walkers report and his usual verdict was thus...I set my expectations low and they were well and truly met. Total of 2.5 /10 was the run score and that was that.
Strange stories were told of people getting altitude sickness having to climb up the giant hill with claims that if certain hashers had got altitude sickness and couldn’t do the run  the pack would of had an even better time than they were already having. There were stories relating to weight loss (boy, it really was some trail then...apparently) Charges ensued most notably Spreadem who was temporarily renamed Stabem after affairs with knives and canetoads. oh.. that’s right stabem charged Losty for being deaf but the charge was reversed as Losty was excused due to not understanding a kiwi accent. Bazza charged Notyet for leading Bazza astray.  Bazza was promptly charged for calling notyet Brookie. The pack assumed this was someone that got awarded new hasher the pack hadn’t met yet.
Dancing Queen tried to give the G.M a spurious charge for lack of indicator use while pursuing/following him on the road.as the G.M cannot be charged Prickle accepted the down down.
Many lost property items were returned. Dancing Queen for random bits of lost towels and cutlery and various items of clothing for others. oh ..yes.. and a lost prick of the week there as well which losty lost. that got handed to betty for some odd reason. The run of the month was talked about and the pack really should hand that out again. Whoever has it please return .
Goanna was a returnee and was also charged again for failing to turn up to the straight line full moon run which went off a treat.
As always top nosh and plenty of .ON ON

Well, no Handbrake, no Losty, no Betty Boop, no Crunchie Crack, no Wait-a-While, no Goanna, and no Maid Marion!
However, we did have a Virgin: and our long lost Harriette, Swampy finally found her way home!

Supa had devised a clever system of sending the runners off in one direction and the walkers off in the other direction…….somehow they all managed to arrive back at the keg together.   No idea where the runners went but do know that some determined walkers trudged up a drive-way into the nether regions of the jungle – even though no trail was evident, but somehow they all managed to escape the mosquitos and wait-a-while and struggled on back.     I believe NotYet gave a run report and awarded a 5 !!!
Helmet was charged with dropping a smelly bomb, to the disgust of the walkers, but this stand-in scribe can’t remember any other charges.    Dancing Queen requested that Spread-em should be renamed Stab-em after her not so heroic act of stabbing a poor innocent toad to death at DQ’s recent run!
Returnee, Plucka managed to pluck out his own number to win the raffle – awesome.
Good nosh of lovely green salads and lasagna was enjoyed by all,  thanks Supa.
On, on………Tutti

It was a top night at chez Prickel’s and that was before the run began. We were greeted by spooky scenes of spiders, skeletons, eyeballs, witches, ghoulish things and that was just some of the regular hashers. Tooty Frooty was unrecognisable so complete was her witchy costume. There was so much spookiness going on the pack nearly forgot to go on trail.
Out over the road we went and by the sales office and beyond.it was surprising how much new trail there was because we ventured into territory the pack hadn’t been before. we trailed under bridges and underpasses, dells , old streets new streets. and even a soccer field named after a bloke named Bill who knew.
We wound up at the cemetery for the spooky drinkstop complete with flavoured eyeballs and Hannibal Lector serving drinks. Home the pack went and the spookdom continued although Supa thought it was the worst halloween run he had ever been on for some reason although he thought the handy tap on a stick drinkstop was ...handy. Back at the ON ON the jack-o-lanterns were lit and an eerie glow descended on the throng.
Charges were laid led by twisty who charged Betty and Crunchy for attending with creased capes. Nommy charged for her Pippa Middleton impersonation and things to do with cape holding. Goanna was charged for failing to be at the impending straight line run on the...wait for it... 11/11/11.Twisty and W-A-W charged each other. Losty was supposed to hand out the prick award but it has mysteriously disappeared from his possession.
Anyone with any awards bring them along please. A super night was had and a memorable halloween run too.  Top effort.

on on

OR....CHICKEN FARMS ARE US........
Returning runner Deringer gave a run report and noted that the trail was very well marked, plenty of good, clear, chalk to be seen and a great length for a good long run...top run and 2/10.how the walkers failed to find even the first check is a real puzzle. All that effort setting the trail and the pack should at least make an effort to check properly. Wrong way, Deringer, Supa and even late cummer Pro found trail. What happened to the walkers? And how come they got lost so quick? Was the aroma of the chicken farm too much?...if a hare sets a great trail the pack should make an effort to do it with some degree of enthusiasm...
There was shiggy, a creek crossing, canefarm, headland, tunnels, highways long straight bits and short bits....but some of the pack collectively shrugged their shoulders and thought bugger this for a game of cards and ambled back to the keg.
Moving on...Supa stork had some very important business to perform with the blessing of some new sacred hash drinking vessels which were duly drunk from by miscreants that committed crimes on and off the run. Supa charged the walkers for failing to bother with trail so Spreadem took the charge for that one. Crunchy was charged for failing to remind Betty to bring the plates and flatwear for the nosh.....See! the benefits of hashers bringing their own .....and others were charged for misdeeds but the light was too dodgy for scribe to see properly
AWARDS.... There was only the prick awarded to Losty coz he was standing close to Twisty at the time  but this leads to the question...where are the rest of the awards. If you have one stashed somewhere bring it along coz we would like to give them away again.....healthy, tasty nosh... a greata effort put in by Tooty and Dancing Queen...so there.

OR....TACKLES TRAIL WHILE TRAILING AWAY.......A very jovial and high spirited pack began the trail from Moowooga street tucked quietly away in a hidden dell in Earlville. We left bumpas via a right went down the street and went right again through the sneaky park .Along there to a sneaky trail behind someone’s back fence then over a rather vicious spiky wire fence. Harriettes legs were seen to be flying in all directions and so wide were they spread a hasher thought he might try his luck.....instead  Prostitute neatly moved the giant fallen palm frond to one side revealing a conveniently lower and far easier height fence to clamber over ..and delicately too. Meanwhile some serious fresbianism was going on between two harriettes that involved ones derrierre being "rubbed " by another harriette or maybe it was just the defenseless harriettes bum was stuck on the wire fence .Out onto Grevilla or Granadilla Street and the pack were on trail. Supa was seen to be a man possessed and furiously running trail. More likely he was excited at the thought of the derrierre rubbing. Hard to tell. Out onto Henley Street and a stop at the red rooster for drinks and entree at Sizzlers. Continuing onto Mulgrave Road the pack  detoured via the corner shops for a quick noodle stop and on round into Balaclava road. Dissent at poochies parlour about whether to do the runners trail but the bulk of the pack made like sheep and herded on home for delicious pre nosh.
A really jolly circle ensued with claims of fresbianism, supa being a man possessed. Moley for tricking everyone into thinking she had notes when in fact she didn’t .The sudden and shocking revelation that Lost and Found was actually  Betty boops look alike Mctaf as it was Boopies wedding anniversary with no Mctaf around to share a celebratory drink with. This in fact was a complete surprise to Crunchy Crack who was celebrating her birthday the day after the wedding anniversary so cries of DADDY!!! were heard. NoNickers was also charged for wondering where next week’s run was after it was announced that it would be Meeds and Woles run. No wonder Noey didn’t know where to go .Meed and Wole are standing in for Weed and Mole who will actually be in New Zeelund. No awards were awarded so we must remember for next week. Goanna was charged yet again for organising the straight line run and not being here for it .
Oh well.... top nosh as always and a very jolly night ON ON

A lively and very sociable pack of nearly 40 hashers descended upon Kneetremblers mansion .imagine that..! just to welcome back returning harriettes Buggered, fresh off the plane from Japan and returnee Wallaby with her new little Joey, Hiro. these were popular ladies while residing in cairns .We even had visitors Captain F..£$$ ER  from somewhere that scribe forgets. Also visitors Kiss my Arse and the lovely Phone Sex. we even had virgins Kayako from Japan and Joyce from Hong Kong. Rubber Dick returned to join us again and the pack were pleased to have had their drinkstop served ever so politely by junior hash horror Kyuske, ably assisted by K.T s hash horror Kai. Aside from all this socialising and returning there actually was a run. It turned out to be quite interesting really as we went  behind Auto barn then over the road to follow along the canal. Past Brophy Street and along to a fence that went behind Cazalys. Clambering over the pipeline we crossed over Mulgrave Road and up Dalton Street. Behind there to another canal till we came to another pipeline. This had some of the pack terrified but if you stop complaining long enough and check trail, one finds a convenient bridge to cross to the drinkstop. This served and a couple of quick cuddles with Wallabys baby off we went all the way up Macoombe. Following trail it went up Kinsford Street and came around behind and finally back to Kneetremblers.
More returnees returned ...Nommy, Manu Manu, and the friendly Bill,Choppers friend.
lots of stuff happened most notably Kotexs run report which went thus....urhhmmm...the drinkstop was awful...it turned out to be a healthy drink but there you go.
There were many charges and lots of laughter and frivolity  but scribe had a headache and couldn’t keep up. Much socialising, down downs for the virgins and lots of cuddles with the Baby. even Pro was spied giving experienced grandfatherly cuddles...to the Baby. great to see our long lost harriettes again .

"I liked it" was Crunchy Cracks enthusiastic post run report. This run had all sorts of new and interesting things that the pack hadn’t done for some time. Out of the park next to Smithfield petrol station the pack wandered searching for trail. it soon went over the busy highway and down into Northpoint new subdivision. Down onto a scrubby park and on over a vacant former cane farm. ther we found a disused cane track and followed that through more scrub. Wandering through burnt scrub we came upon a sandy bit and wandered in through that. Trail was there. You just had to stop talking long enough to spy it hidden on the hidden cement pads that a certain local building company was accused of finishing to such exacting specifications. Continuing through this hidden, sandy, scrubby former cane farm the runners barely had time to speculate on the possible development these concrete footings and pads .Much calling and yelling to let the walkers know where trail  was proved useless as the walkers were too busy blabbing and lost trail. Once at the regroup the runners crossed over the highway again and found trail into the suburbs and round onto Cheviot Street. The drinkstop was found but it soon became apparent that Weed and Believe it or not B. Boop  were the only runners to follow all of the actual trail. Once back at the keg Crunchy’s definitive run report was given.
Charges.... as Goanna and Boopy were running together, Goanna charged Boopy for bouncing boobs.  Supa and Moley were charged for bringing the Cairns building industry into disrepute for unfinished work. Wrong way charged for doing the right thing and offering Long Time Cumming a refreshing cider except L.T. Cumming doesn’t drink cider and never has.  Moley had a somewhat confusing charged that involved L.T.C and the walkers and a random American bypasser.  Handbrake to Boopy for leaving the haberdash at her place for weeks.
Further charges were made up most notably...Goanna for  instigating the soon to be famous straight line run and failing to be here for it. W.A.W awarded the prick of the week to Prickle Magnet for leading him down a dark, prickle laden path.
Much frivolity and plenty of yummy nosh.
The straight line run is going to be a winner!!

A rugged up pack ventured to the vacant block on Ramsey drive in front of the old quarry tin mines. There were folding chairs, the trailer with burners burning , Not Yet’s camping light and a jolly mood. All this was hastily put on by the said pair and a great job they did too. All that was missing was a cosy campfire and the pack would have been even happier. But..time for trail. The pack got away smartly and ventured straight up the steep slopes into the scrub. With strict instructions to stay on trail and no messing about while on trail (bugger!) the pack made a swift pace and huffed it up along the dusty trail. Up higher we went and the runners had plenty of opportunity to check out the falsies and on backs. Over the trail bike jumps we went and carefully avoided falling into disused tin mines. This trail had it all as there were green sticks, dead leaves, even the odd comfy chair to have a little lie down while the runners checked the checks and returned from the false trail. Dust, lots of wait a while, dead trees, even a  trickle of a creek to cross. on the pack went out of the scrub and over a skinny pipe the pack had to scale. Over the runners went but Noey found the best way to traverse the pipe was to straddle it, inching her way to the other side....then again, maybe it just felt nice. Walkers...or according to supa stork the talking crowd clambered over steep inclines and embankments rather than straddle the pipe. Drinkstop had ,on the pack dawdled up Ramsey Drive and on keg. Not yet was a diligent hasher and cleared the white tape from the trail as he played sweep. 
Returnees.....Dancing Queen, J.C, Madame slash and Pussy bob. 
Charges....J.C was promptly charged for using a mobile phone while on run and discussing business. Moley charged Noway for giving the illusion of having crossed the pipe as she was at the drinkstop serving the drinks. Betty to Non Nickers for trying to tell the hare how he should set trail after it had been set. Prickle was charged for having a bruise which means what’s Helmet been up to. No knickers for causing consternation by falling backwards off her chair. D.Q  tried her hardest to charge the G.M Helmet for supplying her with a dud dick but it failed miserably....C`EST LA VIE... 
A great night made even better by the fact that Handbrake supplied us all with home grown tomatoes and Dads homemade pickles.
ON ON   

A good sized pack made their way to Prickle Magnet’s at Forest Gardens. As all clever hashers know, as parking is a tight squeeze in Forest Gardens, one parks the car in the handy communal carpark. Then one walks through the park and straight on in to Prickles. Except Wait a While. The pack watched from over Prickles back fence chortling with mirth as Sheedys Cleaning Service van was seen to drive one way,then the other. Back and forth the van went several times, the pack crying with laughter as Wait a While was continually going round the nearby roundabout and zooming by the back fence. Meanwhile it was time for the pack to depart and the runners ran off and the walkers walked. Gleefully waving to Wait a While as the pack found trail and on they went.  Out of Forest Gardens, along Bruce Highway and along the cane train track. Winding in behind the Primary School, the trail marked out with chalk and cut up plastic shopping bags. Not ON ly was the trail recycled but the trail marking system as well.. ingenious!! Out onto Sunbird the trail continued and into the depths of Forest Gardens and deep into the darkest depths we went. The walkers still managed to meet up with the runners at a designated spot and everyone was very happy. Finally wait a while had caught the pack and managed to introduce a visiting Bunbury harriette, Sweaty who also joined the hash at the recent Amateurs Race meeting.
Back at the circle, Sweaty was down down.ed. Wrong way and Long time cumming are still with us and Innout and Moneyshot returned as did Kneetrmbler. K.T gave the run report and found the run all a bit too simple unlike W.A.W who didn’t find it simply at all. Bumpa returned but complained she was here two weeks ago. 
Tackle charged Helmet for forcing him to park the keg mobile miles away and out in the boon docks and forcing him to carry a keg bucket and sacred drinking vessels to the inner circle. BOO HOO.
Twisty was charged with some misdemeanour and Money tried to charge Defeotus as she usually does so was all out of sorts.Crunchy was charged for wearing a skirt to hash 
Awards....P.O.W from Tackle to Wait a while for his clever impersonation of watching a tennis match(back and forth) 
RUN OF THE MONTH....TA DA!!! returned at last and given to Tackle for his prawn night . 
A nice bit of news... the pack welcomed the safe arrival of favorite harriette Wallabys new little joey and future hasher..named Hiro Dion Thomas. the pack will soon think of a great name for him and look forward to a future viewing Atop night!! ...
Keep Friday the 11/11/11 free for our FULL MOON STRAIGHT LINE RUN.  

Out of Wau Close the pack went through the scenic views of Papua New Guinea via Trinity Park. Plenty of regroups and checks and even a detour to weed and moles and not to be outdone, a drinkstop at Noways new abode. Happy and Noways place duly christened, the pack continued on their merry way via soccer fields. The over 35s soccer team were recruiting but the hashers were turned down.
On via footy training grounds and sports fields it made the pack feel like they were real athletes. We should all be really fit and toned after experiencing all that sport. Visitors Sweetpea, Long time Cumming and our Goanna are definitely the fittest of the pack as they led the runners pack.
Back at the ON ON   returnee Wrong Way thought the run was somewhat uninspiring for lack of use of anything other than straight lines. Our visitors Teflon and BoomBust and virgins Janet and Renee enjoyed themselves immensely and returnee Dead ringer kept Wrong Way in check.
It turned out to be a lively circle with much mirth and frivolity and our G.M had a hard time controlling the fits of laughter and misdemeanours from the pack. Hare Phukit read out several notes from his mum pre and post run so really the pack didn’t even need to do the run as his mums notes were telling us all about the trail. Hence run score of 1/10
Charges were confusing but somewhere in there a charge to Twisty for trying to charge Losty and Retard also did something but it was all very confusing
Weed charged Pro for ringing up Weed and asking why there was nobody at the run site when in fact Pro was at the wrong address. Mctaf was charged with the same offence. Teepee charged Crunchy for being so keen she actually ran but also managed to go up the wrong street.
Moley charged Long Time Cumming for running while visiting and No Nickers was charged for being incognito by not wearing her usual red attire. Noey charged Not yet for not doing the washing and forcing her to be incognito.
Weed awarded the P.O.W to G.M Helmet for not remembering to announce the awards each week thus causing weed to be stuck with the prick. Anymore awards out there send back to the hash.
Keep Friday 11/11/11 free at 6.30 for our special combined Full Moon Straight line run somewhere close to town.
ON ON

With explicit instructions from very busy hasher Not yet the pack were informed in no uncertain terms not to do the second half of the trail before completing the first half and to follow the first half before doing the second or else we wouldn’t t be able to find the second half and not to mess up the order of the first half or the second half or we won’t know which half we would be doing....or something like that. The pack wandered down Olfersia close and turned right and we wondered if we were already  on the first half or had we got confused and started the second half already. After a false trail which Losty actually adhered to and didn’t follow trail was begun again. this time the pack found their way and went into a newly made park in what was a park but now a really nice park and the new part of cityview estate....were we still on the first part of the trail or the second part or the part in-between......sometime later the runners came out of a creek and a drain and the walkers stayed nice and clean and walked above the creek and drain. onwards down into Earlville the pack went only to have a discussion about when the cane trains would come rumbling along the train line we were about to follow.....had we found the second half yet?......a false trail revealed itself and along to Yarum street and places in-between. A welcome drinkstop up the hill at Mestrez Street and a long slog back up King fisher street to summerhill drive.
Meanwhile back at the keg Crunchy Crack was busy not being on the run and drinking a cup of tea for which she was duly charged
Mofl and Maid Marion were charged for not being on the 1800th celebration run and Maid Marion managed another charge for wanting to go home on trail when confusion set in. Supa and Mole were charged with talking business on the run and Wait a while was charged with using his hash name as a business name .Mole was charged with bringing hash into disrepute by wandering willy nilly into a random persons front lawn and trying to pretend it was a trail finding expedition.
More charges ensued but scribes writing is bad and scribe can’t read one’s own notes. There were no visitors or virgins tonight but a fun night was still had no awards were awarded either
G.M. Helmet celebrated 100 runs tonight and mole celebrated 605 but that’s just the runs we know about. More funny stuff happened but scribe is tired now and eyes don’t work properly. Harriette Goanna has raised the idea of a Full Moon 11/11/11 run for surprisingly that very same night and as the moon will rise at 6.48 pm we could start  the run at 6.30 and enjoy the rising moon. Sounds good more news on that front later.
Please return any awards or dongers you might have as we would like them to make friends with new people.
ON ON

An excited band of hashers arrived at the Pussy Bobs Palace on friday night to set up tents and motor homes ready for a palatial 1800th celebration.
After set up, onto the Red Beret Hotel. The pack headed for drinks and meetings and greetings. Many drinks, meals and raffle prize wins later the pack returned to the palace and a log fire. With warm clothes on and easy listening country music in the background, the pack jollied on.
Saturday saw more hashers arrive and onto the highlight of the day...THE RUN.
Up Pussy`s steep driveway,..this nearly finished some of the hashers off,  left along Cascade drive. Past Georgina’s Paddock Party.. had to keep some of the hashers away from that one,...up and over into some dense and prickly scrub. Onwards the steep climb went through dry bramble, lawyer cane and clinging weeds. Up, up, until a break into a clearing and a lovely vista. Across the paddock and over a creek, crystal clear and cold and there was the first drink stop. Copious amounts of Coconut rum and orange juice later the pack continued. Runners Supastork, Pimp, Retard, Pro and Mole'y ran up even steeper and even more scenic trail to an obvious on back. A lonely looking Weed was spied waiting for the runners to descend down Leafy close.
Walkers and visiting hashers Grizzly, Boner, Bone Between the Sheets, Dr.Seuss and Teepee walked the wait a while strewn trail. So dense was the wait a while that Bumpher Stickhers new, white $80 yoga pants were completely shredded. Bumper was clearly confused as attending hash and yoga is exactly the same thing. Returning Past Pussy Bobs, the temptation to retire to the keg was too much for Dancing Queen, B.B.T S and Boner.
Down Cascade drive, through the road works and onto the wet cement left there for Grizzly, Crunchy and Boopy to leave their calling cards. Up the road to Zanzoo close, over the paddock to the next drinkstop but not before clambering down the steep bank and over the pipeline to the other side of the creek.
Runners met the walking pack and more coconut rum was enjoyed.
Returning via the pipeline or through the creek, Dr. Seuss was still squealing about getting his feet wet as was Kotex. Along the road, down into the scrub through the creek and a clamber back up the embankment to the keg at the Palace.
A jovial circle took place complete with astounding raffle prizes of boobs, bums, willies, tackles and pussys. All sorts of charges, misdemeanours and lies were told.
Bumpa gave a yoga demonstration, Dr.Seuss squealed about getting his feet wet and not being able to find any info about the weekend. McTaf re-enacted his slow motion fall while out setting trail. Tackle drank his yard of down down. B.B.T S and Boner drank their visitor down down. Pussy Bob trundled about on his wheelie zimmer frame. Noey showed everybody her photo albums. G.M. Helmet waved his truncheon about. Losty interrupted the G,M with dire consequences. Mole took the Mofl look alike charge. Prickle and Handbrake were busy raffle suppliers. Nomy kept a low profile except when Kotex kept a lookout for her while trying to secretly wee on trail. Crunchy was renamed Karaoke queen for her karaoke efforts and a search party was sent out  to look for Dancing Queen after sleeping in for several hours. Stubby amazed us with his magic folding chair. Big Bazza told tall tales and Not Yet was busy doing Not Yet things. Phukit was busy packing up the Smith family tent and Wait a While remembered to turn up.

A wondrous feast of soups, roast meats and a cold collation was scoffed by all.

New trail was blazed by our illustrious keg master extraordinaire Tackle. The pack turned left out of his abode and went along the demolished house block and promptly down into the creek and over the stepping stones. Emerging up the other side via the tree root steps grown conveniently just for aging hashers we trundled along the handy concrete path into the depths of Mooroobool, winding through and along we eventually came out somewhere   along a canal path and over to Jensen street. Trail was hard to find but Defeotus sniffed it out and along more canal we went (near a bridge and eventually onto drinkstop, at least scribe thinks this may be so as it scribe noticed Trinity’s run had similarities. Tackle took us over water to take us the long way round the creek and continue for miles, maybe that’s where drinkstop was as Trinity also must have stolen Tackles idea. Either way tackle gave us a good long trail with plenty of opportunity for runners to stretch out and walkers to short cut home as did Nommy and Twisty. On the pack went and slogged on home via the bowling alley, past the caravan pack. On past the reggea grooves of a house party complete with dense wafts of ganja smoke and by then an easy saunter up moody street ,through Wu Choppern Medical centre(needed medical attention after all that smoke). Arriving back at the keg to enjoy a coldie and  prawn frozzies.
"Well ...uhm.. said Not yet about the run report but Goanna thought it was vaguely entertaining...must have been all that smoke...It was different said Wait a while ... not the same tackle run we’ve done for a hundred years. Then was told how Maid Marion tried to lead the pack astray...(never..!) but was unsuccessful.
Returnees ... Pussy Bob was welcomed which was a good thing. Pull thru returned and Defeotus.
Charges were laid most notably for Tackle for failing to deliver his usual out the back path and going up ramset drive.
Manu was called out the front for being an old lady and complaining about the cold, which could be true as even the prawns found it chilly and were still frozen. S.O.S was called forth and given a parting down down as he is moving interstate. Pimp was charged with running too fast as was farcanel and goanna was charged for upsetting all the dogs in the neighbourhood one even bit her to show his disapproval. Defeotus was charged for not coming to her rescue.
More stuff happened but scribe was still feeling the effects of all the smoke from the reggea house party.
ON ON ...AND DONT WORRY.. BE HAPPY..

Gleefully the pack arrived at the popular Madame Slash`s lovely Queenslander abode in anticipation of a great trail and the possibility of the 5000 extra visitors making an appearance from a visiting U.S. vessel. The pack gathered and wore their trendiest hash attire and made great efforts to look like fit runners and hard core hashers...but we are...we all thought secretly in our heads. Off the pack went at a cracking pace and immediately up up up to the top of the hill to a water tower. Immediately the pack called false trail and down they came again. An excellent warm up. Runners dashed on and walkers continued and the delights of edge hill were enjoyed..except by the 5000 visitors that forgot to turn up...oh well, the trail continued and hashers that don’t run much were seen to put in herculean efforts as the trail had some good long stretches in between hills and slopes. Kotex and Not yet gave a co run report. :it was quite well marked said not yet you could come home whenever you liked it was so well chalked 6/10 but minus some marks coz we got back too dark....Slashie was subsequently charged for inspirational use of the trail masters skills and using the trail master himself..genius!!!!.. Wee Wee and Champion were welcomed as visitors, unlike the 5000 that didn’t visit. Pro got confused though and thought they were the American visitors. Sadly certain Harriettes were distraught at the lack of visiting servicemen as the view for the evening is greatly improved. Pro charged slashie for failing to tell him about a convenient pool in her backyard. pro was abust hasher that night as he attempted to charge losty but it soon rebounded to him as he has failed to work out just what it is a hasher needs to do to get losty to set a trail for him. Not yet was charged for being seen tying Noeys shoelaces (together) Farcanel said his charge was an interesting one but scribe lost interest after half an hour of Farcanel explaining what the charge was about. Tackle charged Pimp for boasting about 5000 visitors attending hash this week and not a single visitor could be seen. Knee trembler was charged for talking to Bumpa sticker and scaring her away. God knows what he said to tackle as he was scared away as well. Many hashy birthdays were sung to dancing queen and as no Leo can drink on their own further Leo birthdays were celebrated and more hashy birthdays sung. Nosh was an extravaganza and enough to feed the 5000 and then some. Birthday cake was had and the pack managed to scoff the lot 
ON ON
No Way. 

 A very disorderly and smallish pack went looking for the northern end of Holloways Beach – they found it at the middle end of Holloways just up from the south end of the beach!!. This run, as opposed to Spread’ems run a few weeks ago, set off towards the middle, then south end of Holloways. Runners ran and walkers walked in and out, here and there and then after quite a long spell found where they should part. The walkers took the shortest way back, of course and the runners ran a very, very long way back. There was trail along roads, through the deep dark bush and then finally lost trial as they couldn’t see a thing in the scrub!!. The few brave runners finally made it home after all the rest of the pack. There was visitor, Pancho from Brisvegas.

As Losty so eloquently put it  ...'This trail had all the imagination of a nats testicle.  In real speak we think that means there were no checks, falsies, difficult runners trail or steep ascents to ascend. Instead Freddy the wonder dog would of had a lovely time helping his mum set the trail. The walkers took a brisk pace and followed new bike /walking paths by creeks and schools. An even more cracking pace was set by Kotex who powered along Woodward street and left the rest of the pack in her wake. The runners would of had a long stretch out on the return trail. 
Returnees.... Pendinger, Just Cash, Reverse Thrust Chopper. 
Virgin...Keith...luckily for Keith the sacrificial goat was on holidays. 
Charges......Chopper to Losty for always running his own trail but always being found. Low Profile to J.C who kept such a low one G.M Helmet didn’t even know he was there. Supa to Mctaf for failure to wear any red ,white or blue very few charges except pre-emptive birthday charges and a farewell to fine hashing gent Nogat who departs temporarily for England to become our British Foreign Correspondent. Let’s hope we have more correspondence from Nogat than we do MR. B. Thrush! See Helmet and Prickle to order your Pussy palace shirts and start making monetary deposits for the pussy palace weekend. Theme could be Bordello or a cattery. 
on on

Celebration Invitation Run 69 –Wednesday- July 27th 2011 6pm
It only happens once in a Harriettes life – stay tuned for info on city venue

Innout sum  med up the trail "..a little short., we made it a little more interesting"...so the runners  ran further than the 4.4km Little street walking circuit which ambles its way past Little street cemetery, P.C.Y.C    and the Gym. Along the creek bank, round to the cricket feilda. Trailing along the by now dark track we came out by Man..under squash courts, along Anderson road to the entrance to the swamp, tramping through in went betty, nommy and Maid Marion behind the rest of the pack. Sometime later it was discovered that the harriettes had veered right when they should have gone left as a giant earth bank blocked their way. Undeterred the harriettes realised their mistake and continued on the correct trail but not before a convenient wee stop before catching up with the rest of the pack. Which they didn’t as it soon transpired the harriettes were left all alone in that giant swamp and returned last to the circle. it was soon discovered Handbrake was nowhere to be seen and a search party was sent forth. Handbrake was discovered escorting another lost /last harriette  Noway who had again got lost.
Virgins: Liz and Mim were welcomed and the sacrificial goat was brought forth.
Returnees: Plucka, Innout, Phukit, Moneyshot,Not yet, Madame Slash and Nommy were returned. Visitors Cods, dammit,Two fathers,Udder one and Marty.brother in law to kneetrembler. It was soon pointed out that Marty didn’t look Japanese but maybe it was the fading light.
Pre-empting all charges Kneetrmbler brought forth a serious charge of dereliction of duty. This is indeed considered a heinous crime and under strict instructions from our foreign correspondent Basil thrush who resides in Vietnam Weed and Mofl were down downed for failure to consistently put photos and notes onto the hash web site. These being the two gurus most responsible for Basil’s life line to his former best hashing fellows and keeping up to date with hashing in Cairns.  It was soon made apparent by Tackle that it was a case of the pot calling the kettle black as Basil being a FOREIGN Correspondent there is a distinct lack of correspondence from Basil himself, foreign or otherwise.  HEAR HEAR said the pack and a lookalike in the form of Kneetrembler accepted the charge. Innout accepted the charge of changing his gender and sneakily hashing in Vietnam without telling the pack. Meanwhile the virgins were happily enjoying this frivolity until nosh was served.  Farcanel should have been charged for attempting to poison the virgins with his chilli and coconut concoction but the virgins had to rush of to the hospital quick smart so he was saved from that.
More stuff happened but it’s all a blur...ON ON

There are many words to describe this run: said Goanna... mostly --up, down, and back. This is exactly what the pack did as it was visitor Marlborough Mans virgin, visiting, filling in for Losty run. It was in fact an excellent trail as the pack had to well... think. We went forward, false trails. Through the outer edges of the city. It tucked and trotted through little known lanes and streets and kept us interested with more false trails.
Once back at chez lostys , the artic wind blew through the underground carpark and Helmet battled to keep the packs attention.
Visitor Marlborough Man returned to visit us again. Returnees Mctaf, weed ,mole, goanna, farcanel
Check with goanna for all the facinating details of Eurohash 2011. it was fun... wish I went. Also Animal and former trinity G.M truncheon returned for another crack at running trail.
CHARGES... hard to follow due to the unruly nature of the pack and also scribe has lost all 3 pairs of glasses so neither can scribe see to type.
Helmet charged or praised Tackle, Tooty, Handbrake ,Crunchy, Phukit  for their efforts lasting all night at the recent relay for life.
Mrs Magoo...aka tooty was charged  for walking beside Mofl, removing her own glasses and promptly loosing Mofl with cries of where’s mofl who was still right where Mrs Magoo left her.  Happy Feet l.a.l noway was charged by Dancing Queen  when asked where’s hash tonight....don’t know says Happy...I’ll have to look it up...oh   it’s at my place.
Further relay for life charge to Tackle for using mustard gas on himself while tucked snuggly away in his tent.
Pimp was charged for making himself a dad.
Pro to W.A.W for not accepting any offers from his charming Dutch backpacker au pair while residing at chez Wait a whiles.
Goanna charged for having ubiquitous and all round hasher of the world the famous Enos for a hash dad...or it could be said goanna was charged for picking up older men.
Low profile awarded to defeotus.  Mofl gave the prick of the week to pro for making her get wet on his really chilly queen’s birthday run night.
SO THERE....

There will be a committee meeting 2 July at 12 noon at the Tradies Bar to discuss the 1800th run.  All are urged to attend.

Out to the scenic scenery of Little Mulgrave the pack went to Pros Ponderosa ostensibly to celebrate a monarch’s birthday. It transpired that it was merely a bunch of unfit hashers happy to dress in funny attire pretending to be royalty. Except Dancing Queen who is actually royalty because her name says so. It was classic, good hashing trail all the way. It started up a giant 4 wheel drive track straight to a huge water tank. Once up there wheezing and puffing of the trail went into scrubby, rocky stinging tree track. It continued along rocky, knee dislocating, gullies strewn with fallen trees and mossy outcrops. So fallen were the trees Betty was seen to be rubbing prickles of her bottom. NO.... not Prickle....just prickles.
So treacherous were the steep , uneven stony trails Tackle was seen to be heffting both Mofl and Tooty over each of his shoulders to ensure no further leg or ankle breakages ensued. So heavy going were the gullies and slippery trail that Dancing Queen did her Gandalph impersonation  and forged a trail carrying her trusty Staff of Confidence.
Across the icy creek returnee Groove tottered and skilfully got her legs soaked as did Mofl who thought she would go for a full body paddle.
Although it must be said some hashers found the trail no bother at all as returnee Tongue was seen to positively sprint mountain goat like along the same trail and not raise a puff as did fellow returnee S.O.S
Some returning hashers namely Innout, and Moneyshot thought they might do a wee warm up run up Walshs Pyramid before venturing out to hash that night and still getting to the drinkstop before Supa stork who usually beats everybody else. They even managed to beat the friendly dog taking its owner Damien out for his virgin hash trail.
Back at the ponderosa Supa seemed to think "it was a tight arssed trail as there were recycled, recycled trail markings from long past and long used trails from times past. The harriettes just thought they would have nice tight arses from going up all those steep hills.
Charges were all a bit of a blur as the circle was a bit of a blur but the pack attempted to charge their Virgins, returnees and miscreants. By this time the camp fire was burning and hashers were slowly warming after the cold beer and cold creek crossings. Warmed by yummy stew for nosh all was right in the monarchy.
ON ON H.R.H THE QUEEN

A reasonable size pack took off from Duplock Park in Aeroglen for Super's run. Some short-cutted, some did not want to tackle the hill that turned out to be only 150m at the most!! The runners and some of the walkers completed the trail and came back on THE NEW BIKE PATH.
Run report from Defeotus - well set trail, bike path - through back of mountain - along the creek missing the crocodiles - score 2.5
Charges - Twisted Sista for leaving her umbrella at Money Shot's run weeks and weeks ago!
JC - using mobile phone when he should have been in the circle.
Crunchy, Betty Boop and Sonic Beep for prowling around parks in the dark and then turning up late and not being strippers.
Knee Tembler's charge from Dancing Queen for being a short cutting b..... backfired on her!
No Way for ignoring Helmet and Prickle Magnet at the traffic lights after they beeped the horn, waved and did all but drive into her.
Awards - Run of the Month - Wait a While
Prick of the Week - Lost and Found - just 'cos.
Raffles - JC and Far Canal
Next week's run - Pro's place 5pm start.
On on
Koty
1800 run is 19 – 20 August at Pussy Palace, details in "Breaking News".  There will be a committee meeting 2 July & 6 August at 12 noon at the Cape York Hotel to discuss this further.  All are urged to attend.

A smaller than usual, but very keen, group assembled at the Kewarra Beach Base for the usual Mole adventure through bush, shiggy, and dark roads…..
Supa’s run report saying it was a long run where he was almost Supa-exceeded by the returnee, Toolbox, who was keen to make the run even longer!!!  She even swore a reasonably unused swear word in hash “Gosh” at an ‘On Back’.   What the…!  He then (lied – oops) told falsies about the walkers not having crossed the creek – how would he know when he was so far ahead of them I ask?    Then there was too much concrete after that to run around on, and eventually to the drink-stop at the beach only to find that two of the walkers had got there before him!!!   1.5 awarded.
Returnee Garcon said the group left himself, Tutti and Mofl behind at the creek where the senior walking members had a little difficulty in navigating the water-crossing-with-hazards, however they soldiered on through the dark grassy track, through the park and onto the road to start walking ‘on home’ when along came Mole with the HHH drink-stop bus and kidnapped them down to the beach.  They left the drinkstop to walk on-home just as the runners arrived!  No idea which way the other walkers went!    7,5

Returnees;   Toolbox, Concrete Rod, and Garcon after about 5 years since his bad biking accident.
Charges:  Mole for setting trail! : Lost & Found to Twisty for calling many, many times “Are you sure you are on”.: Defeatus for giving too may directions while actually standing on the ‘three-way-optional’ sign :  Mole charged Tutti and Garcon for asking for a ride – wrong, she kidnapped us I say!
On another matter Weed charged ManuManu for trying to grab a better looking bag off the carousel at the airport.
Notices:    Harriettes AGPU – all welcome to the Bare Foot Bowling at the Cairns Bowls Club, Toogood Road Woree on 25th May, 2011.  Bring along your softest bare feet!
Bike Hash has been delayed for another week, according to Losty.
Nash Hash :   Big thanks to Weed for wrapping-up the financial details of the Cairns Nash Hash and thanks to all who made it such a great success!
Great nosh, as usual, was then served up…………….On, on…………  Tutti

OR...

Spread’em spreads ’em out on a run A beautiful evening at Holloway’s Beach as hashers gathered – and were sent off on trail with advice ‘ trail is marked in BLUE and RED arrows, with the runner’s trail a little longer than the walkers – and yes, there is a drink stop ‘. Runner’s report from Mole who admitted she arrived a little late and tried to follow the little, wee, blue arrows but finally lost trail and ‘it was a boring run’. Walker’s report from Mofl – tried to follow the LITTLE blue arrows but finally couldn’t track them down so pack wandered about. Not a bad walk but no drink stop as promised. Well this is hash and things can change! Mole then demonstrated that bigger is certainly better by showing pack how to mark huge, clear arrows with a 5 ft long piece of white chalk! (Obviously stolen from a building site somewhere!) Helmet was heard to ask if the other coloured chalk in the box were the same size! Anyone planning on setting a run in the near future would be advised to ask Mole to supply said chalk! 
Returnees: Skiddy, Steph, Hat-trick;
Visitors: (and returnee) Pythagararse from Townsville. 
Virgin: Tracy.
Charges: Helmet charged NoNickers for sitting in the circle. Crunchie charged the hare – just because. Twisty sort of charged herself for being a slackarse and not mentioning to the pack last week re Nom-de-Plume’s birthday. Bonvoyage Nommy, have a great holiday in Europe. NoWay charged Dancing Queen for something – well anything really! Wait-a-While was charged just for being WaW. Dancing Queen charged Tracy for not wearing hash attire. Defetus charged Losty for not getting lost or being found – how unusual! SuperStork was instructed by Helmet to produce a hash name for Jeff (from Bellenden Ker) however as this was most unexpected by our RA, and as no-one else could suggest a suitable name – watch this space! 
Notices: Saturday 4th June – Cairns Harriettes will be holding their second sausage sizzle outside Harvey Norman’s – looking for support from everyone! Also that the AGPU for Cairns Harriettes with be held on 25th May at the Cairns Bowls Club, Toogood Road. Tackle requested confirmation from the circle to have XXXX beer in a Keg at our 1800 and your Committee is also seeking suggestions for entertainment at the 1800 Run. 
Well Spreadem’ there may have been some scathing remarks about the ‘blue and red chalk arrows’ but everyone really enjoyed the salubrious nosh at the beach.  Well done!  
On, on…………..Tutti  

The pack assembled at Helmet and Prickle Magnet’s abode at the earlier time of 5pm because we can and because it was a public holiday!  About 5.20 we were on our way along the paths and streets of Forrest Gardens.  Numerous checks and a couple of false trails were all part of the fun.  On and on we trudged up and down hills until the welcome sign DS came in to view.  Yeah right the drink stop was at the top of a hill with Helmet standing by the car watching us all (except those who short-cutted) trudge over the vacant blocks to the drink stop, all this was instead of Tootie who decided to go up the road and then still had to come through long grass and sensitive weed!  A great view and a lovely breeze greeted us as we sipped our refreshment.
Back home to nibbles and the circle got underway.  As Helmet was the hare he passed the GM duties to Defeotus who once again tried to get us to stand in the circle – didn’t work!! 
Returnees:  Tootie from the wilds of Yeppoon, Chopper and Big Bazza.
Awards:  Defeotus was presented with the concrete pr… which he claims he accidently left at some other hash run.  He then awarded it to No Way for not bringing Losty to hash when she knew he had no car!!
Run of the month awarded to Tackle for the Anzac Day run which he claims he does not remember much about.
Phone call:  Losty phoned during the circle to tell us nothing about next week’s run only that it will be on the web page!!
Charges:  Tootie charged Twisty for something about men chatting like women on the run and then not doing the check herself.
Chopper charged Wait a While for being talked into going to Mt Garnet races to meet up with No Knickas and Not Yet who haven’t been there for the last 12 years!!
The short-cutters were duly charged for their crime
Can’t remember any other charges ….
Raffle:  Twisted Sista won a beautiful pair of bright green shorts while No Knickas took out the bottle of wine.

Betty Boop spoke about the sausage sizzle at IGA which is a fund raiser for our team in the Relay for Life.

1800 run is 19 – 20 August at Pussy Palace, details in "Breaking News".  There will be a committee meeting 28 May at 12 noon at the Cape York Hotel to discuss this further.  All are urged to attend.
Winter Ball 9 July at the Germania Club – cost $25 per head.  All money (can be in instalments) to Hash Cash. Flyer in "Breaking News"

It was an excellent turn out for a 4pm start on Anzac /Easter Monday with an also excellent trail. The pack turned up with Anzac attire or in BoPeeps case very delightful bunny ears. The trail began up Moignard Street and there were a myriad of checks to keep the pack busy. The trail continued in this vein and even a sneaky false trail ensued which Betty checked out with Mofl, Geoff and Noway. Such a sneaky falsie it was as the only means of escape from the train track trail was the gate and fence which required clambering over. This we did and on we went. There was drain , creek , slopes and some slops too and even an ankle twisting which Moley was most upset about. Back at the Keg the pack enjoyed the little boys and the circle began. 
VIRGINS...Catherine and Indra were welcomed (the goat was pleased ..it had something to do). 
Returnees....Bopeep and Juggler There was some confusion with the run report as we were not sure if there were two nuns on a train or the trail went down a drain. Noway continued with her run report insisting she went with Christine through a pristine stream but alas she was confused as there was no Christine and she went through a murky creek. Such was the frivolity of the night. Mole twisted her ankle and Bopeep got a sympathy injury to keep her company. All those not in Anzac attire were charged and Geoff was charged for hiding behind Not yet trying to avoid a charge. Spreadem was charged for not going on the run as did Wait a while and Farcanel who were charged for failing to take their charge. Spreadem was also charged for not getting wet and Bopeep was charged for impersonating a playboy bunny. 
A top nosh as always and a bumper night for raffle prizes too. Keep your eyes and ears open for further updates about the hash ball. Cairns 1800th run was confirmed as Saturday the 20th August at the Pussy Palace, Crystal Cascades. 
ON ON NOGAT 

SEE BREAKING NEWS FOR DETAILS OF THE 1800TH RUN

Goannas run report reported that the markings were far between so it was a casual kind of trail which was good as she was feeling slack. Lucky ol` slack we said. Goanna was promptly told by Manu that she needed to go to an eye specialist as there was plenty of chalk. A walkers report was called for and the general consensus was ..there was one? Run score was 1/10 but stand in GM Defeotus gave an added score of 1/10 for the yummy drinkstop. Defeotus stamped his authority on the circle as stand in and soon called for any Returnees which turned out to be Moley.
Virgins were called for and Geoff from the vicinity of Babinda and a very active bushwalker was soon called forth and showed no fear towards the sacrificial goat. He stamped his authority on the pack by keeping up with the runners. Well done. 
Run report from the Innisfail 1600th weekend was reported and the resounding unanimous decision was ...It was a top weekend with nearly 40 attendees. A great party to follow the wet run with goodie bags and lots of nosh. 
Charges....Betty charged Goanna for feeling slack and not telling us what he felt like. Defeotus to Spreadem for doing the walkers trail but kitting herself out in a multi pocket utility bum bag. Weed charged Handbrake for watching him go into an outdoor shop to purchase a poncho to have on the Innisfail weekend then promptly opening her bag and revealing a  ready supply of ponchos. Moley to Manu for being miserly with the chalk. Manu promptly told Moley where to venture off to next. Twisted to Nomi for not tinkling on the trail as Nomi is usually wont to do and also for loud shorts wearing. 
Many announcements were made as there is much already on the hash calendar. A proposal to incorporate the Red Dress run possibly into the Festival Cairns Parade. Our 1800th run will probably be at the Pussy Palace in Redlynch with a theme for the Pussy Run being Bordello. Winter Ball.... Due to the fun and the popularity of the ball last year enquiries are in progress to see what dates are available at the Germania Club and discussions are under way within the Germania committee to accept our proposal. Enquiries are continuing for a Dj to be hired and this will increase the cost of the event but the music will be much better. The Ball will not go ahead for less than 40 people so start putting some extra money away each week to cover the cost Am hoping to keep the cost to 20-25 dollars. A proposal to get a corporate box together for the A.F.L Match at Cazalys for the 19th July. Keep your eyes and ears open for further updates. 
ON ON TOOTY FROOTY.  

It was wet, cold, it rained alot and drinkstop was something orange. Thus were the words of the venerable Mr.P. Rostitute when asked to give the nights run report. These words were in fact true as it was a wet ,soggy, drizzly ,sodden night. Helmet praised Mofls quick thinking and foresight in producing cheat sheets as trail marking. It was a memorable night for  the aforementioned reasons and the fact that it was a fun night because the pack were huddled under the teeny toilet block shelter.
The trail went up Freshwater road and past the Red Beret Hotel.  Round the back and along that long road, past short street and a turn into Larsen road.  A soggy drink stop in the woolies car park. Returning visiting runner Plucka was amazed to discover this whole new area of Redlynch that didn’t exist back in his Cairns hashing daze.
Along Intake road the trail continued until the skateboard park. A few digs , drops, and tricks later the pack finished  showing off their boarding skills and wandered on back to Freshwater swimming hole for soggy popcorn and yummy cob loaf.
RETURNEES....Welcome back to Plucka, Pendinga, Defeotus and Choppa.
CHARGES........Pro was charged with impersonating Maid Marion (..i`m late!!) Choppa charged Crunchy with umbrella stealing.Mole charged  Plucka for wearing pink and having a dry shirt. Accusations of not going on the run were bandied about but Betty was forced to corroborate Pluckas story by proving he did in fact go on the run.The pack charged Supa for dereliction of duty. Defeotus did a very admirable job of stand in Mctaf...(..Shud up!!) Weed was a very admirable stand in keg master.
Choppa announced his Phuket hash celebratory weekend in June and his availability of his chauffer service. Talk to Chopper for further info.
The hash Mid-Winter Ball ....Usually a Bi annual affair but the proposal is to put it on again this year due to the popularity of the event. All interested persons see Betty, Crunchy or Lesson or ACDC at trinity hash.
As a result of the committee meeting held at the Cape york hotel on Sat 2 the run is now $12 per week.  This will be reviewed in June to see how we are doing financially.

On on

BB

This run could also be known as the NEVER MIND THE TRAIL NIGHT such was the low importance of the trail .All the same the trail began out in the backblocks of Edmonton and swept past the back of ex hasher Camels house. Onto the pathway and up onto the back blocks of vacant land and scrub. Up up a ridge and across the flour was strewn. There was shiggy, sweat, hills scrub, pathway, ditches, and finally a swim stop to cool off. Many drinks in the pool later the new GM Helmet took charge. Supa gave an outstanding run report as befitting an outstanding run so it scored a 2/10.Outstanding!!!! 
Returnees....Helmet, Prickle, Madame slash, Masterbates 
Charges......Twisty to crunchy for no hash attire but charge was reversed as it was revealed crunchy was wearing a hash necklace. Helmet charged Ooops for a media tart award but a standin was called so Handbrake accepted the charge as she has the same hair colour. Masterbates charged Haberdash Prickle for unpicking Nash hash shirts that conveniently unravel. Supa proved that Masterbates had unwittingly discovered  the hashes secret of unpicking only all of Townsville hashes shirts. Clever hey!!! Mofl was praised for choosing to celebrate her 44th wedding anniversary at hash. 
Raffles...Twisted and tooty. 
Commitee meeting at Cape York hotel Saturday 2nd April to discuss the fee issue and proposed 1800th celebration run . 
ON ON Fetish.  

Monday night at Moneyshots turned out to be a rather drizzly night but that didn’t dampen the spirits of the pack who turned up in droves to enjoy a Moneyshot run. The only dilemma was Innout had to run like the clappers to stay ahead of the runners in the pack as the trail needed to be reset due to inclement weather. Still, Innout would of had no problem doing that being the fit runner that he is and scribe believes the hare returned even before the pack had got to Jensen St., that’s how fit we`re talking. Off the pack went to find trail freshly marked with chalk on powerpoles (no, not the powerpole).This we did and into the depths of Whitfield we went. All along JensenST after trailing past Polenz, Keirle, and all those little byways in between. A quick stop at Edgehill bowls club for a short end or two of bare foot bowls while waiting for the walkers to catch up. On past the Latter Day Saints Church and past that nice former church converted to a house. Visitors Reverse Thrust and Bedspringer who were amazed to see Betty having a go at running. As was Manu, but Betty assured them all it wouldn’t happen again. On around Kevin St, the pack sang Powerpole a hymm before continuing up Woodward St. and down onto Pease. The runners split and enjoyed a trail by Centenary lakes and the walkers ambled down Pease to return to Maytown and the unit complex and waiting pool. Manu took the circle as our new GM was required at work as was the popular Fetish who was charged with no hash attire due to choosing work attire instead. 
Visitors.....still glad to have Reverse thrust and Bedspringer via Noosa. 
Virgin........Moneyshots Dad, Frank , who the pack were pleased to meet. Also Innouts co-hare mate whose name scribe forgets...apologies.
According to Goannas run report it was an excellent trail and well-marked and enjoyable to run. The runners ran together and the walkers walked together except Mctaf and Bettyboop who found walkers trail then lost it and did the trail in reverse. 
Charges....Tooty to Kotex for hiding her birthday. Nogat to Nommy for disappointing him by sloshing water over him and missing certain parts of his anatomy. Twisty for attempting to do something with willies or with someone called William. Mofl to Innout for no hash attire but it was reversed as it was deemed appropriate for Innout to be shirtless according to certain harriettes. P.O.W....from Moley to Moneyshot ..can’t remember why tho.
Lively discussion ensued upon mention of the need to raise fees again to $15 as opposed to $12 which was also discussed at the previous weeks A.G.P.U. Some members of the pack voted to agree to this fee due to rising costs but the issue remains unfinalised due to the committee needing to discuss the issue fully and present their findings to all of the pack with the benefit of the GM being present..
Top nosh was had a great trail.
ON ON Meatballs 

CAIRNS HASH AGPU AT KNEETREMBLERS
OR ....AROUND THE WORLD IN 80 FOODS - run 1801
An excited pack gathered at 325 McCoombe street A.K.A.TREMBLERS HOUSE OF MULTI  CULTURAL CUISINE. The trail may have started in local Mooroolbool but it eventually diverted to many a varied country at the end.   The run report may have been a "good but a bit short as far as running goes"  according to Moneyshot. It was given a 2/10. Quite generous really but the pack  were just eager to get back to the keg and begin enjoying the noshy  delights. True, hash isn’t about the nosh but the AGPU night was. So there. The pack began their trail de cuisine in France and South America with stops on the way to Japan and Morocco. The gastronomic trail continued onto Jamaica via the Middle East and the Mediterranean. More nosh trail continued via the Tropical North ,travelling on through Australia with a pudding stop in Olde  England.  
As it happened there were still some virgins, visitors and returnees. 
VIRGIN..... The young and lovely Blair 
VISITORS...Matt from New York. 
RETURNEES...Reverse Thrust from Noosa, nice to enjoy your company again. Our  popular Goanna, tooty, kotex,twisty and concrete rod and our very welcome long  lost ex GM Pennisimo and Fourtitsimo. 
ANNIVERSARY RUN.....Lost and found has  lost and found trail with cairns hash  100 times already. 
Charges....Defeatus  and Helmet both charged moneyshot for changing her name to  Moneyslot for losing her job and having to perform lapdances for the very lucky  Fetish. Pro to K.T for promising Korean strippers and failing to deliver. Helmet to Manu for failing to wear the garment of the month on the run. Concrete cock went to Defeatus because we could. Run of the month Garment went to Dancing Queen.. a very popular choice. 
As far as the AGPU goes this is the end result.
GM....HELMET....
ASSIST.G.M....DEEFEETUS 
R.A....SUPASTALK....
ASSIST.R.A AND CHOIRMASTER...MCTAF 
ON SEX....CRUNCHY CRACK....
HASH SCRIBE....BETTYBOOP 
HASH CASH....HANDBRAKE....
ASSIST CASH....TOOTY 
KEG MASTER ....TACKLE....
ASSIST.KEG....WEED. 
HABERDASH......PRICKLE 
HARE.RAISER ....LOSTY 
FOREIGN CORRESPONDANTS...BIG BAZZA, BASIL THRUSH,DO DO , PUSSY BOB,WRONG  WAY,MANU,MANU. 
WEB GURU.....MOFL. 
HASH FLASH....MOLE AND NO NICKERS 
And a fine commitee they are too. 
on on Pussy bob.   

Its too long for me! exclaimed Nommy....:and it was too hard:...serious words from a serious hasher.  Soon the pack realised Nommy meant the trail and not ...£££!!!.Due to heavy monsoonal downpours down pouring Handbrake enlisted the help of very fit hasher Inn Out to set a live trail... that and the fact handbrake didn’t finish work till 5 o clock. sheesh!... work..! And long and hard it was. Good loooong stretches of trail, clearly marked, well thought out, a giant hill in there for a good cardio workout and a hard long trail for the return. Walkers and runners were all satisfied all the way from Mahogany street via all sorts of Inn Out ways. Pimps run report "well, it was all right but it was too long for me" Handbrake and InnOut were duly charged.
 Raffles...Lost and found, Madame Slash and Handbrake. 
Events...Innisfails 1600th ..it was decided the pack should all pile on a bus to the weekend and all pile on a bus back from the eventn names and monies to handbrake. 
Charges...Supa, Not Yet and Crunchy for all trying too hard to advertise the fact they had all gone down south to Tassie by mutual Tshirt wearing. Money shot to Betty for new shoes.( and very nice new shoes they were to) Supa to Nowat for showing some sort of sympathy for something or some one( shes such a nice lady) Kneetrembler for talking Slashie and Moneyshot for no hash attire. Mole to Losty for having no confidence in InnOuts run setting capabilities. Losty chased the hare to make sure there was enough chalk to mark trail. Innout to handbrake for shirking her trail setting duties Kerry and Dancing queen for demanding eight pages of trash every week from scribe. Just coz Burnie hash get six pages of trash on a weekly basis .....sheesh!!! 

P.O.W ...went to mole for causing anguish and distress to a fellow hasher.  Concrete cock went to InnOut because it was long and hard.  
ON ON ..SOD ON ME XXXXXX 

We were a bit slow off the mark as a few of us got lost finding Pimps lovely abode. But PRO was out the front enticing all in. The runners took off like a bolt and could not be heard from or seen for dust. The track was reasonably well marked with lots of soggy toilet paper except for the odd arrow on the fence well spotted by Manu Manu. The scenery was enjoyable as we walked along some nice streets, past some paddocks with one Brahman bull and many cows – don’t mess with that one, then through a bit of train track where we thought we would be stranded as trail was hard to find and no-one called on-on. “Are we there yet” was heard a few times not by Maid Marion, but walkers found home with all the runners frolicking, er cooling off in the pool. Pimp scored 2/10 coz everyone enjoyed the run. In-out complimented Pimp on the run – no false trail, re-groups or other time wasters! Money shot was indignant about people getting her name right – it’s NOT money SLOT get it right folks. Prickle magnet and Helmut were excited about going to Nash Hash. Nommie was staying low key with the camera- great pics thanks Nommie. Returnees ....none I think. 
Charges......... Handbrake nearly took off waving her elbow so much as she charged No Way for “CRAFT” – Can’t remember a f#%@n thing – she forget to bring the beautiful notice Mole coached her to print, forgot the camera, forgot to bring paper to writes notes. Money shot and Kerri charged for no hash attire. Manu manu charged the runners for not calling us on. Someone charged Helmut for something. 
Raffle: Manu Manu was excited winning first prize of 4 cans of beer and Super excited with his sloppy second prize?? 
Awards:... none. 
Nosh was excellent – burgers and salad on rolls. A fun night with a rowdy pack.
ON ON 

 A good sized pack ventured to new premises in Edmonton, eing the apartment complex of the lovely Dancing Queen. Out the pack went from the complex and up Mt Peter Road to find themselves at the busy Mill Road roundabout. Over we went and then promptly confused but not to be deterred the pack found trail over another busy intersection and into Queens Road .how appropriate. Down the underpass still covered in cyclone debris and back onto the highway, the runners went left and the walkers went right. Round and about we went and inn and out (no, not THE inn and Out) finally coming out at Badilla and ambling up Mt Peter Road again. A cooling swim in the pool before rabble began. D.Q. scored an interesting score, 0/10 because Sups thought it was such an easy cruisy run for the runners and a not to long walk. 
Returnees ....Kerry returned from running hash on Magnetic Island, and that’s about all there were. 
Charges.........hmm, let me think. Scribe forgot the pen so it’s all a bit blurry. D.Q charged Mctaf for misdirecting the entire pack and sending them the wrong way.(NO, NOT THE HASHER. Mctaf and Betty Boop for snoggin` ...it was a valentines run. Sod on me for wearing his gay...lee coloured pink Melbourne ladies singlet and looking reeeeely ..well ..GAY. Not yet charged himself for failing to remember to buy valentine flowers and chocs for NoNickers. Betty to Mole for not finding Bettys notes that she sends but that could have also gone to Mofl, which it did because she also keeps such a low profile. Tooty charged Mctaf for being a real indian giver and making her return her raffle prize of a handy folding chair which in fact was Dancing Queens. Kotex insisted on charging Twisty for stealing and drinking her raffle prize from Friday night. 
Awards... concrete cock to Tackle for being reely loud. Dancing Queen enjoyed receiving the prick of the week and Weed got something or a charge in there for something else. A fun night with a rowdy pack.
ON ON Spreadem. On On 

 It was at last Mutiny and Bountys turn to set a blazing hash trail which  they looked forward to with much anticipation.The packed floated into Twistys flooding abode due to the enormous deluge that was lashing cairns.The R.A was going to face some serious charges for dereliction of duty.Out into the downpour we went we could barely make out faint chalk marks on power poles( no,not the hasher ), and whatever else the chalk would stick to we went up Greenslopes Street, slopped along here and there and had a hard time of it finding checks and any markings of any sort. some of the pack thought it went in a park, other made it up another giant hill and others down into Mcmanus Street. Dont ask scribe how but some found a semblance of a trail and shot of. Moneyshot ran such a fast trail choppa charged her with disapointing him by not being anywhere near wet enough to be a part of the wet tshirt brigade.Somehow the trail did continue for Fetish ,money, Innout,Losty,Manu, even the doomed R.A. Back at the fiesta hut the pack attempted to dry of and wade through the slop to get a down down.
It was soon revealed the Hare was Moley setting a live trail as mutiny and Bounty hadnt even landed back in Cairns from yatchting duties down south .
Choppa, said couple,Moneyshot  and Metro were welcomed as returnees.
Choppa charged Crunchy ,DQ Nommy ,Betty and Bounty for not entering the wet tshirt competition.Not yet charged Losty and Manu for not calling the trail that was miraculously found. The pack charged the R.A with rain on trail.Dancing Queen charged the R.A  with dissapointing her and Crunchy by telling them not to look at the shirtless fit young blokes working out on there verandah.Crunchy could have got married that night.
Run of the Month was awarded to Manu and the lovely Toolbox
Concrete Cock given Mutiny and Bounty.Losty still has the soft cock award. He likes it a lot.Raffles held over as there were no prizes that week.
ON ON C.B.F

Not much in the way of notes this week, but that’s because it was decided that an average hash man only has a 7 day memory. That was downgraded to 4 days when it was confirmed that no one could remember where last Mondays run was. It was then remembered that Betty Boop and McTaff has the plates, knives and forks so we all agreed the average hashmans memory span is 5 days. It was also remembered that the run had bloody big hill, swampy bits and some cane farms and some creeks, no regroups or drink stop but it didn’t rain so that was a very big plus. Also the nosh wasn’t bad so that earned GCG a score of somewhere between 2 & 6. There were charges and some awards things. I think there was a visitor, Borealis, from India and that’s all this hash man can remember. It’s now 7 days since that event happened and this hashman’s memory doesn’t go that far. 
On On someone else with a better memory scribe 

Way up the giant Figtree drive hill the pack heaved only to be met by an even more giant driveway to get down to Cummys.  Up we heaved again to start trail. Big Bazza was done just getting up and down the driveway. To the end of Figtree, down a secret slope (giant) to come out at the back of Caravonica state school. Twitterings of  @ooh.. spiders ...ooh taipans...ooh my shoes are muddy....were heard. Into slop, shiggy rushing streams of slop and water the pack ploughed. Through scrub and ending up on Kamerunga road. Over the highway and straight up Redford road alongside canfields. The long slog continued to the other side of the canefarm and around down into the old Smithfield cemetery. A swing low was sung to show reverence and the pack trudged on. Meanwhile runners continued back into Caravonica and on into Illawarra street and around the traps and walkers trudged the short way but up the giant hill we all had to return. Visitor Borealis from Delhi hash was seen streaking ahead of nearly all the front runners even along Figtree. Did scribe mention it’s a giant hill?.....Anyway.....puffing and panting back we got to cummys and all fell in a heap. Bazza was still in a heap where we left him.  
RETURNEES..........C.B.F .,FETISH AND INNOUT ,TACKLE, CONCRETE ROD AND SPINNYFEX, were all down downed and BOREALIS  was given a down down for visiting and showing us all up with his running prowess.  Goanna thought the runn was a goodun but still scored the run a 2/10 Walkers liked the walk although there were concerns about leeches in the water. (They are called hashers dear reader)  
CHARGES.........strangely Cummy charged Pro with abusing (or using) the double donger. Tackle charged Cummy for upsetting a poor truck driver by not answering Lone Wolfs incesscent  C.B  radio calls. Innout was charged with lurking and  fence crawling around Caravonica school.  Cummy charged Deefeetus for not being at the run coz it was his own birthday so Fetish made an excellent stand in.  Many awards were handed out. Cummy got the double donger. Losty got the soft cock award coz he was soft.  Bazza gave the giant concrete cock to Handbrake for making him go all the way down the hill to give hash cash his money. Borealis took lots of photos and we all had a jolly good time.  
ON ON  TOOTY FROOTY.   

OOPS LOOP DE LOOP - run 1792